Monday, May 02, 2005

Gentle reminder....

[updated to say] the host, where my new wp blog was to be, folded my blog. It is no more and I don't have the database for it.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Blogger has eaten some of my work... so that's one reason nothing new has shown up here... updated to say that the site is no more.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

The Evil Empire of Cats

Saturday, April 09, 2005

The wedding is over, my daughter is on her honeymoon, I've peeked out into my garden, and blogged a bit, but generally I have enjoyed the fact that I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. It is so nice to be a slacker.

Until the next thing, which actually is coming right up. Another family wedding, but this time to attend and a graduation.... combined with a vacation hopefully.

I am not even thinking of a budget. What's a budget?

Which will cause sorriness and regrets later, but hey.

Monday, March 28, 2005

I have not blogged recently as I have been tottering on the edge of hysteria in the preparations for the wedding.

I think everything is under control and then I think everything is out of control-it's a coin toss as to which depending on the day.

I did run across some very helpful flower arranging books- I will report on that when I have more than a few seconds to breathe. Right now however it's back to serious prep work for the flower bouquets.

I did find some shoes that I am very happy with. I am going for an understated hopefully elegant look for myself. All champagne beige and pearls. Except that I am sort of changing the mind on the pearls. They have some fabulous costume jewelry out there. All sparkly and colorful- many with the far east Indian look I favor. Decisions, decisions. I bought something with peridot green rhinestones that I might wear instead of the pearly stuff that I was going to layer on.

Well-I'm off....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Met with the legal people. The paralegal was sick and I felt very sorry for her. I was late to the meeting, too. ADVICE: try not to go through probate. I just think it is extremely complicated. It has high costs, too. Not that estates don't anyway. Death is expensive these days. I just want to be buried in a plain box.

But they won't do that, you know. You can't get buried in a box in your back yard.

Think of how it hurts resale. ( that's a joke,son)

Oh well. I have to work like a crazy woman for the next two weeks....and I don't even know what I'm doing. Worse than usual.

The weather's been pretty nice, though. Short but sweet today...short anyway. Take care out there people.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I changed the layout to something simpler in preparation of redesigning all my blogs between now and June. This one will have colors and backgrounds changed with some original graphics, but I like clean and crisp so the basic design is blogger dots.

How do you like the little avatar? I picked that up from a free avatar site long time ago. You have to go through hundreds to find what you like, and many of those sites closed. Things used to be kinder and simpler on the web. What changes things? As soon as people want to make money. And not the originators, many times. Lots of people used to give out their work free, just for the love of doing it, but some sharpshooter somewhere started to gather those up and sell them... the bad idea caught on as bad ideas often do- especially getting something from someone else's hard work. Now, the public is poorer for it. Besides all the bandwagon harpies who get their backs up over so-called originality. Lots of art is not purely original. Art is often the product of an organic growth of ideas passed around and translated by the artists, or sometimes craftsmen, who are a different type, but no less talented, artist.

This is sort of a rant, but not really. I believe in attribution. By all means give the artists and originators their due: both in prestige and remuneration. Some people just stretch it a bit far.

I am totally stressed, but am trying to get over it by handling things and preparing. I think I will have a lawyer rant once this executorship is over. Right now I am trying to figure out where the problem and the ineptitude lies. I am trying to figure out the problem with things dragging on so long. I keep thinking it is under control to find out -whoops there goes another one- another slip up.

That, more or less, is the continuing saga of this Spiced Tea. More sugar, less lemon, please.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I found out what I don't like about the whole wedding planning process:
The word "perfect".

Monday, March 07, 2005

Received my Adagio teas, today. I was so happy and surprised that the package arrived so soon after signing up. After I try the teas, I plan to order from them...just because I liked getting the samples. I will most likely order a collection of oolong, since that is my favorite tea of the moment.

Unrelated. I posted some jokes on my other blog, and I started thinking about how people need to laugh. We need to have things that make us chuckle and smile and laugh out loud. It is healing and wholesome.

Not that my jokes were wholesome...they weren't; it is just that it can be like priming the well. Sometimes we get so sad we laugh. Well, I do. And then it is just a matter of allowing that to lift ones view enough to see the amusing and even the joyful.

Maybe that is why I prefer comedy to most other types of entertainment right now. I get so weighed down for so long, that it is just not healthy, and a stand up comedy like the Blue Collar- except for one of the guys, one is just too crass for my liking. Or old SNL, stuff like that.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

What Happened to Truegrit?

For those of you who happen to know this is a blog done by little ol' moi the same who is notoriously infamous (as opposed to famous) for writing truegrit, I will proceed to complain about the strange transmografications (ok the spellings off-it's a weird word) of truegrit -as the guys over @ try to upgrade their servers...or whatever. I sympathize with them, anything done on the tech backend of websites is just plain scary and fraught with dangers of LOSING EVERYTHING. Face that. If I cared about the longevity of my writing I would back up everything. twice. But I leave it to chance which means I know I stand a pretty good chance of starting over who knows how many times.

I have been there before. Red Rival and Crosswinds dumped my sites on their servers numerous times before going paid and then leaving me out in the rain (homeless). Much like upsaid. So, yeh, been there before.

It looks like weblogs has old truegrit template and files up to Oct. 04.
I don't know, I guess that is better than nothing... and I remain optimistic that they'll get it right. If not.... there is google for die-hard retrieving.

I'll just do clean-slate pollyanna. Or get retrograde angry...which is dynamic for mean blogging I guess..... let's see which way I land after the geeks try their hand at server-switching.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Wonder how to set a table...properly? The guild of pro butlers lets us, of the plebian class, know all the how-to and the lingo of table-setting. Silverware, anyone?

Oh, yes, I 've had to brush up- the wedding is coming up. I bought the most beautiful Stash tea, a Jasmine white for part of a shower favor, but now I want to try it out myself. Why oh why do I not learn to always buy two of those sorts of things? I always want one and then I have to do without for so long.... it takes me forever to get back to the specialty shopping that I will do for others and not for myself. I would save so much time if I would just acknowledge that I not only want something but that it is ok for me to have something.

A long time ago I did some psyche digging. It was along the voices that we hear inside- I always heard my father's voice, and that is a strong self-denying voice. But not in a good way. Self-denial for others is good, for its own sake is bad.

I know there are all those arguments of what is good/bad/ blah. I don't have time for that right now- take my word for it that I have it right on this one. The second sort of self-denial just squeezes all the fun out of life and wastes it. Like "oh no- you are just pouring that out and nobody gets any of it...whyyyyy?"

that's all the pop-psychology out of me today. ciao.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Taking my vitamins, getting slightly more sleep, and getting on top of the wedding errands. Not on top of my game yet, but this is a great improvement. YAY! Of course, the blogging has suffered, but something's got to give- something always does. The main trouble is that I am still very unfocused -never a good thing for easily distract-able me. I have a little to tidy up on the executor business ...although that has always proved knotty, the mushroom factor is not relegated to home improvement only. It definitely is at work in anything that requires the legal community. I now understand why you duplicate /triplicate/ and multiply paper. Blah. I feel like I no sooner am working past one family thing before another comes up, but at least with the wedding I have now convinced myself that it will be mostly a happy experience. I say mostly because I have that one sister to deal with -always an unknown, but I think she will behave. If she happens upon this blog, well, hey, it's true and everyone is aware of how hair trigger relations with you can be. I just happen to brave the wrath more than most. In our family we all have to get a handle on that anger issue. The other factor is my one son who has not yet resolved things with me. They actually seem worse. He is like the old U-boats. You never know when the issues will surface and what kind of payload damage you will incur. That has been something of a pattern in our family. but I have no intentions of allowing things to leave me dead in the water. I have decided that my life is too rich to allow the hurts to have that kind of impact. You can love those who behave that way. I am convinced that you can. It does take moderating myself. Life is not all about me, or how I feel or what I think. The important thing about a wedding is the two people with those high hopes, and that they deserve for you to throw all wishes for happiness and good in their direction. That is what I intend to do: make sure I can do what I can to make the party! The planning, the good will, the high spirits, whatever. Some things are simply chosen. And I intend to do a good job with my part of it and to have fun. I absolutely will have fun- no one can stop me. :) I enjoy weddings and the food is going to be great, with people that I will enjoy seeing. And I am in charge of the wedding flowers and bouquets, so those will be fabulous. And that will make me happy. And others happy. See my thinking here? It is a win situation. I will deal with longstanding issues-after. The Scarlett Syndrome you say? Well, long live the Steel Magnolias, sometimes there are reasons for ways of managing life. But being the died-in-the-wool Yankee that I am it will be back to nitty gritty dealing with the issues right afterward. And, after all, I am taking the risk that no one is really looking at this blog. Because this post is one firecracker in the situation of which I speak. but you know, I am not the only one in the world with family issues. It doesn't matter the size or the disposition of the family you're in, at some point or another you deal with issues - just some of us have more points of ignition than others. C'est moi. Messages from Home

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Personality Disorders is a page I came across through a link while blog-exploring. I think via Wide Awakes, or something. Anyway, they were comparing the Left to those who have the Peter Pan Syndrome. As I read through I saw a picture of my husband. I kind of knew that, but it brought it home to me.

Our roles and how they changed were some of the really challenging things in our marriage. I was the strong and he was the weak, but as I had more children and we tried to live out the Christian calling those roles and their attributes changed places. There is nothing weaker than a woman who has just had a baby- believe me. At least not in the norms of life. Never having had cancer I couldn't compare it that, but in the normal modes of life I have to rate postpartum me as my weakest time ever.

Anyway, I am going to look through the list and find me. I am sure I am in there. A few years ago I was looking at mental health stuff and typed myself as a hostile. I'll see if I think that still fits....

Monday, February 14, 2005

30 answers ...
... to 30 questions.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
* 8:30 this morning

2. Diamonds or pearls?
* I like pearls

3. What was the last film you saw at the Cinema?
* "Sideways"

4. What is your favorite TV show?
* I don't watch TV,but I catch up with the video releases. I like "24"

5. What did you have for breakfast?
* coffee and a popsicle

6. What is your middle name?
* oops. too much information

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
* I have several: Hungarian and Italian for home-cooking. Chinese(or Thai) whenever.... and Anything really good if I should ever find myself in an expensive restaurant.

8. What foods do you dislike?
* I don't like squash much, I hate tofu, and fake cream.

9. What kind of car do you drive?
* an old one

10. Favorite Sandwich?
* I like designer sandwiches, but for the run-of-the-mill choice I like Reubens. what is a designer sandwich? Unusual touches and home made breads, thin sliced meat -duck would be ideal. Wraps are excellent. I generally like this form of eating.

11. What characteristic do you despise?
* pettiness. In myself, I despise caving in to depression.

12. Favorite item of clothing?
* Knitted cream linen T.

13. If you could go anywhere in the world for a holiday where would you go?
* Anywhere? I think a South Sea Island...any would do: Hawaii, Tahiti-someplace like that.

14. What color is your bathroom?
* Lavender-with desert colors, actually.

15. Favorite brand of clothing?
* Liz Claibourne, I.N.C. -there's also one called Caribbean Joe I like alot. They actually fit my increasingly endomorphic body

16. Where would you like to retire?
* S.Carolina shore-but I won't ever get to retire, so I'll just visit.

17. Favorite time of the day?
* how about night-very late night.

18. What was your most memorable birthday?
* In a good or bad way? ;)

19. Where were you born?
* too much information again -Midwest

20. Favorite sport to watch?
* definitely basketball, but Olympic ice skating is cool. ( teehee)

21. What are you wearing right now?
* Non-descript clothes that I wouldn't want to be seen in..... and my husband would rather I not be wearing ( take that however)

22. What star sign are you?
* beep.bad question. try again.

23. What fabric detergent do you use?
* Arm and Hammer

24. Pepsi or Coke?
* Either, but I don't drink lots of pop.

25. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
* Night

26. What is your shoe size?
* Size 7 1/2

27. Do you have any pets?
* big dog, four cats

28. Any new exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends?
* I'm past that

29. What did you want to be when you were little?
* I wanted to do things more than be something.... but I wanted to be an artist for a long time.

30. What are you meant to be doing today?
* Meant to be doing? I divided it between what I had to do and what I felt like doing.
I heard a good sermon today; even though I tend to be so distracted lately I did manage to pay attention. It started out with a statistic from Fast Company Magazine: of the people asked whether they would choose one more hour of time at home each day or $10,000 more income, some 86% chose more income. The message from this was that we need intimacy and love, but we don't make time for it. It's a true observation.

I've had a good couple days- yesterday managed to put some good time into housework. Now if I manage to cover my obligations each day I will move ahead without blizting out. People laugh at that baby steps thing from the What About Bob movie, but I think that is the way to go.

The pastor also mentioned some good books in his sermon and my husband reserved them for me at the library.

My husband has been extra nice to me. I absolutely do not deserve it, but I am becoming grateful.

got to go to bed now. Staying up late is my bane- my bad, whatever;) it contributes to all the downfalls that I am trying to overcome. So off to bed with me, and I'll blog when I can. I have like two to four major posts in my head, but I don't really think I'll have time to get them blogged.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I tell all my secrets here. I don't usually let the cat out of the bag..heh,heh, it's coming.... but Bill the Cat is for illustration purposes only. The truth is, um, I hate to say this, but I don't like cats all that well.

There. It's out. No I did not kick it once it was out, it just sort of scatted. Cats do that.

I used to like cats when I was little; but then I also liked ants, and letting flies walk on my legs. Now you have all the poop on me.

I'm sorry, I'm being bad. This is what happens if I get in one of these moods and I am typing things online. permanently. for all the world to see.

I know I will someday regret this.

I don't hate cats, however. They have their mercenary calling in life, and while I'd rather they didn't bother the birds it's a happy day when they are batting around their little mouse victims. I do hate rodents that invade my house, so the less of them, the better.

I came to this sad state of affairs because I was too sensitive as a child. I became overly attached to my animals and then when fate overtook them in one way or another I sort of hardened. I basically like animals in their place.

However, I am one of those nutty women who brake for animals and then wonder why I risk the inhabitants of my car on that account. I just can't stand to see animals killed.

Ok, this was too much. Confession time over. Now you know why you don't see lots of kitty pics on my site- even though we must have four or more around our place. My kids loooove them, and my husband has a favorite, though he denies it to me. but the kids told.

Not that I care, but I prefer dogs. One, possibly two at a time. We have one very large dog...although if I would spring the money I would have a larger one. I am partial to wolfhounds, and wanted a deerhound. I just can't see the several hundreds that would cost. If I had time to train I would get a Kuvasz, but I don't have the time or inclination.

I'll have to tell my wacky animal stories sometime. My mom's side treated animals with neurotic indulgence, which is why I strictly keep animals in their animal place.

Like when I lived with my Aunt and I had to have her dog sit beside me during meals- I kept pushing him -unseen under the table- but he wouldn't budge. He got back at me with particularly gross "accidents" when she left him with me while she went on vacation. That was one sly dog I tell ya'. He looked like Benji, and she called him that, but underneath had the heart of an evil cat.

The stories about the other stuff and my mother's penchant for psychotic dogs is for another day.....

Saturday, February 05, 2005

Bill The Cat
Want to know how it's gone with me, lately? Really? Let me tell you ;) First, this month had been a long slide into depression...then I developed a most miserable cold, which tends to raise me out of depression since then I am truly miserable as opposed to thinking that I am miserable. So I make it through last night and get to the upside of believing that I will get better soon, only to decide I will do a little graphics work on the computer.

Now here is the part where I get enough shock to my system to really wake me up to the day. My system seems shakey, so I do the usual, reboot. It is not shutting down easily, but that's ok, nothing to worry about. I get it shut down and reboot. Only it doesn't reboot properly...nooooo, there is a black screen and error message. I call my sons...seems there is an operating system error. I have XP, without a reboot disk which has always made me monumentally nervous ( I had a viral-caused total system crash on my last machine). So I am talking to my at-home son who was last on the computer.... we try to figure how to get an XP reboot disk -QUICKLY- when he decideds to try something... and then remembers that oh yeah, he put a corrupted disk in my A-drive. Disk out, system boot, all is well, and here I am. Zip ity doo dah. I feel like I am Bill the Cat ...again. All my nerves are screaming at me.

In the meantime, my husband, in relief, confesses that he was saying to himself "Nobody goes on my computer". I pictured him with arms out in zone defense stance.... taking on all comers to HIS computer. Can't blame him really. When you let your kids use your computer you are just asking for headaches. Simply begging for it. Backup you say? Yeah, I did back up- but son ran off with the CD's and I have no idea where they are now......

The scarey thing is that I have not plumbed the depths of my inadequacy. No, I can go much further into failure than this..... it is the one thing I seem truly good at, that seems to hold no boundaries of descent for me.

Now. Where was I? graphics that's right...let's open that little program and see where this heightened adrenaline rush will take me......

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Grandma Moses

JS Online: Grandma Moses' art getting a 2nd look: "A critic's perspective" an article from some time ago. Something that most people don't know about me is that when I was a child I won an art contest with a Grandma Moses style painting. It was hung in the Art Museum and I received a coffee table book on Grandma Moses, an Arbuthnot anthology of stories, a real life artists easel and oil painting supplies in a metal case. I was really stoked about that art supply set. Going to the museum party was not as much of a highlight, but I remember it being an honor; I got to meet "Lucy" of Lucy's Toyshop ( a kids TV show). I have no idea what they did with my painting.

Anyway, I have always liked that primitive, folk art sort of painting. To this day.