Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Taking my vitamins, getting slightly more sleep, and getting on top of the wedding errands. Not on top of my game yet, but this is a great improvement. YAY! Of course, the blogging has suffered, but something's got to give- something always does. The main trouble is that I am still very unfocused -never a good thing for easily distract-able me. I have a little to tidy up on the executor business ...although that has always proved knotty, the mushroom factor is not relegated to home improvement only. It definitely is at work in anything that requires the legal community. I now understand why you duplicate /triplicate/ and multiply paper. Blah. I feel like I no sooner am working past one family thing before another comes up, but at least with the wedding I have now convinced myself that it will be mostly a happy experience. I say mostly because I have that one sister to deal with -always an unknown, but I think she will behave. If she happens upon this blog, well, hey, it's true and everyone is aware of how hair trigger relations with you can be. I just happen to brave the wrath more than most. In our family we all have to get a handle on that anger issue. The other factor is my one son who has not yet resolved things with me. They actually seem worse. He is like the old U-boats. You never know when the issues will surface and what kind of payload damage you will incur. That has been something of a pattern in our family. but I have no intentions of allowing things to leave me dead in the water. I have decided that my life is too rich to allow the hurts to have that kind of impact. You can love those who behave that way. I am convinced that you can. It does take moderating myself. Life is not all about me, or how I feel or what I think. The important thing about a wedding is the two people with those high hopes, and that they deserve for you to throw all wishes for happiness and good in their direction. That is what I intend to do: make sure I can do what I can to make the party! The planning, the good will, the high spirits, whatever. Some things are simply chosen. And I intend to do a good job with my part of it and to have fun. I absolutely will have fun- no one can stop me. :) I enjoy weddings and the food is going to be great, with people that I will enjoy seeing. And I am in charge of the wedding flowers and bouquets, so those will be fabulous. And that will make me happy. And others happy. See my thinking here? It is a win situation. I will deal with longstanding issues-after. The Scarlett Syndrome you say? Well, long live the Steel Magnolias, sometimes there are reasons for ways of managing life. But being the died-in-the-wool Yankee that I am it will be back to nitty gritty dealing with the issues right afterward. And, after all, I am taking the risk that no one is really looking at this blog. Because this post is one firecracker in the situation of which I speak. but you know, I am not the only one in the world with family issues. It doesn't matter the size or the disposition of the family you're in, at some point or another you deal with issues - just some of us have more points of ignition than others. C'est moi. Messages from Home