I just realized. I have only two days to Christmas Eve dinner. Christmastime has been on back burner as I run around to hospital, then to funeral director and on to the person who lives in my dads house .... so I can secure his valuables. Such as they are.
I try not to give time to my feelings right now, instead trying to ask and be sensitive to others as much as possible. Not because I am so good , but rather because the time for that is temporary and I will have more than enough time to think on many things which are not at all pleasant and wonderful.
I brightened up quite a bit after contracting with a bagpiper for the funeral. I don't know why, but it seemed like the one thing that went easily and as I had hoped. Then when I started figuring out the flowers. Flowers are a mood lifter for me, and it brought some of the brighter moments from long ago.... when my dad was still interested in gardening and we used to share notes.
Although blogging starts inspiring the tears.... which I really hope to avoid until the funeral/burial process is done. But then the remaining business is there..... well, I'll get around to dealing with myself later. I don't have any lack of attention to that in normal circumstances;)
I need to make the dinner menu and delegate some Christmas wrapping.....
Dinner menu for Christmas?