Friday, September 24, 2004

In sort of a punk mood today. The vertigo/dizzy thing returned and it is slower going away this time. Major inconvenience. It seems tied to hormones, but maybe not... it might be a Potassium thing. I think that because it seems better after I get more potassium via orange juice or something similar. Leaning towards the thinking that this is part of the problem.

What it means for my real life is that while I might not mind puttering away on the computer, etc. this time of year needs to be high gear for me..... and I am presently spinning my wheels in bouts of vertigo. Blah.

Oh well. I find myself saying alot lately, Oh well!

Still learning things about the stock market. AS always, it's when everyone else is full of the scarey stories: the market is in a downturn, don't buy stocks. I've been in the lower economic demographic for a long time.... I don't know if that makes me more worried about risk or more of a risktaker. But I have to try to make some income in one way or another. I get more scared of the job market, actually.

If I ever make any money, maybe I will think about getting my own domain for my garden page... now that is thinking big :)

I feel like Sarah in some ways... you know how she laughed when God promised her a son? It's like the dream is so big that you laugh , like oh that would be wonderful....but can I dream that big? That is how I am when I think that I could do a business or actually get my life together, or not be struggling financially. I sort of believe it, but I sort of LOL, you know?
Anyway. We have our new school books now, so the children are sticking pretty close to a school schedule.

The house is two thirds done in the painting renovation. Hopefully I will feel physically good enough to repair the gardens this week. And do my fall cleaning... with the waxing/buffing floors stuff. What a wimp I am. I sort of wilt just thinking about it. But it has to get done... and there ain't no one else to do it....

It isn't really these little things, it's that I made decisions to go ahead with some very challenging things. Like get the house remodeled for my Mom to move in next year. That is so major, I need to just focus on day to day. There is lots more, but I am not putting anything online about it yet.

Seeing things in writing.... sometimes it is hard to list everything in writing and look at it. This is where my own type of cowardice is revealed. But I know that what I normally do with this is to bind up the midsection with duty and fortitude and go ahead just 'cause it's got to be done. Doesn't matter how personally scared I get. Just do the deed, dude.

Anyway, that's where I am at. At the moment.