Thursday, February 26, 2004

I don't know what it is with me lately. I'm up, I'm down, encouraged, then discouraged. All over the place and I still have some trouble sleeping. I have lots of trouble being productive.

I know it has been a hard year.... my husband calls it the hardest year of his life. but sometimes I think he hijacks my pain and then I have to center on him. But sometimes I think I am all there you go. Lots of momentum to nowhere;)

I do feel encouraged spiritually -generally right now. That is a plus. I feel somewhat hopeful for this year, actually. One thing I have been doing is force my focus on accomplishing things. Made some lists, whixh is something that I hadn't done in quite awhile. A list always means something or 'nother will possibly get done. Did everything but make the dr. appt.s

Just keep procrastinating that. And the gardening.... I haven't done any gardening.

I do know that I would like a pause button for life.

but it doesn't come with that. I would probably use it too much, anyway.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

I finally did it. I bought a digital camera... and now comes the learning curve. What a learning curve it proves to be! Just looking for the right camera was totally confusing. I only half researched -which is not like me, but that is what I did.

Ended up buying a Sony. Went looking for a Nikon, but ran into one of those blah-blah supercilious salesmen types. He just kept saying: discontinued discontinued and then looked at me like I was stupid.

But I half knew I wanted a Sony (it was 2nd choice). I overlooked the attitude because I really wanted the camera in a right-now sort of way. I am tired of repeated trips to business places.

So! I have my camera, a book to guide me through, and I just have to experiment a bit. YAY :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Groundhog Recipes Either they will just love this idea.... or it can mean nightmares for the more sensitive? Don't know, but aghhhh, the hedgehog cake is too much. Like eating Miss Tiggy-winkle. Mr Bill's voice in the background, "Noooooo,nooooo".

This site has some other sorts of foods that look delicious without the emotional angst.


Wednesday, February 11, 2004


Ok, I love this sort of post.

I don't know why.

I think it was that last sentence, "Tis the season to be a lonely, bitter wench."
It just amused me no end.....

I could'a done without some of the comments, however.......
I am thinking of my father again.

My father locked out love; he wouldn't allow it entrance. Instead he sought for lust from his different girlfriends, and then for sympathy as substitutes.

There is a lesson that it teaches me: a person should not scorn love.

We might want to separate out the demands and obligations along with expectations and images that are illusory, but the kernel of love is something we shouldn't scorn and keep outside our doors.

We judge so poorly, oftentimes. What a terrible thing that is. A well of sadness.

Love is very rich in its variations. No one has to be without it. They may not always have the romantic love they want, or the filial type, but there is often a form of it somewhere in ones life.

It does have to be rendered in some manner though. None of us is without selfishness.

But, I do know there are reasons people become hardened. Perhaps it is an indictment on our idea of love that we take so little patience with considering that.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Unfortunately I resumed taking online tests. Here is the newest: